metamorpheus in action.

Thursday, June 15th, 2017

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Hello world. It all appeared to me in a dream. I wish to write again. I spoke to my mother about this yesterday. Having a dreadful fear of people rejecting my writing, I remained stoic and did not publish anything for the longest of times. I still have ideas running rampant in my brain, yet the fear engulfs them. However, to this I say no longer. The human mind is a wonderful thing. Each person has a complexity in themselves that is shared with no one else. It’s quite exciting to think about! Different stories, experiences, and personalities are what make us human. Why not share mine? I partially had writer’s block, but that just happens when I have too many thoughts in my head. As an update on my life, I consider myself stable now. Yes, there is still remnants of anxiety still clogged up in my chest. It makes me want to express myself in a frenzy. It’s times like those where I wish I took contemporary dance. Something about the way they express themselves makes me calm down. It doesn’t stop me from trying nonetheless. My therapist tells me I should not be anxious in regards to going back to Columbia. She is true. If the school tells me to wait a while longer then I will. I can only get stronger. Pen is mightier than the sword. I wish to write in my future. I have a passion for it. There is some hidden thrill in watching the flow of my consciousness spill onto the screen. I never know what can become of it. Let me educate you on the ravishing beauty that is the universe. Each planet appearing has if it were constructed by sculptors in the Renaissance. However, what a catch! It appears as if some are not solid, but milky terrains of gaseous elements of our universe. It livens the deep void of the universe, and it’s the reason I wake up every morning. In hopes that I will one day see someone’s eyes light up as they see the heavens above like I do. I am not quite sure what direction this blog may end up going, as I pursue many interests. Nonetheless, be aware of what is to come. I am truly healing.

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Sunday, October 2nd, 2016

sidewalk becons forward

a web of infinte silence

a cold apartheid of spoken affairs

in moderation, they said

ive skimmed the walls in afternoon crisp air

where i swore you stood with me there

i drained vitality from your lips

twice clutched my waterloo

a stained window bared into my soul

yet the flicker of the tinker

sank into abyss
moderation, they said

Sunday, October 2nd, 2016

they rise at dawn

awaken me from the dark

how they bore into my soul

to check for vitality

when they stick the

needle it goes in

sweetly and i am

clumsily hoping that

i could stay in this

state of mind

for all of time

Sunday, October 2nd, 2016

how is it that the

commotion of the commons

brings chaos onto this

doorstep of mine

how it pulsates

how it cries on its own

-i wish to go home

Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

in the corner of my eye they reside

to crack at the inner mechanisms of my mind

at times they remain stoic as the

tick

and the

tock

of the marble clock

it laughs in pity

he was my companion of secluded nights

before the blood rushed in and detered my

sight across the ocean between Here and

There and how dreadful it felt to be left alone

a primadona voice and suicidal idealation

the edge of a cliff where I swore i saw

the shadow again for the fiftieth time

Friday, August 26th, 2016

legs spread a summer ago

an arch that would bend space- perhaps time

with claws submerged in gemini lines

i spoke as if it were not me

she touched as if it were her

now blooms a new pirouette

and she dances so well

out of the pocket of a penniless poet

caught on her holy trinity of

a kiss, a touch, and the temptation of her presence

pages of caricatures made of ink from lustless, dry moons

Monday, August 22nd, 2016

haphazardly spilt some cream onto my mourning coffee but

since when does dread come in a silhouettes of long waves and dead eye locks

time, oh it flew too soon

it made a fool of me too

candy waterfalls made for a combustion

of simple nights and a tapping sensation

of doubt- much like dread

it hurls me into the closest bed of my lover who slept soundly

in steady vibrations of a ticking time bomb

alas a moment for you in peace

was one were I was crowded by the ecstasy

of loud propositions and silent convocations

a city dazzled by hithered frights and broken wine glass delight

and still I laid stoic

for time can be so cruel

Friday, July 1st, 2016

in my dreams she wept a trail of tears 

took her to the corner of

paramount and disbelief

they called and whispered 

for her a maiden be

and they bore vile at me

cut my heart in threes

i broke her heart

free of sentiment

introducing the art of merrymaking 

long ago 

.

Friday, February 5th, 2016

it is the most intimate of moments in where the crystals in your eyes seem to glisten

you hide them in to cower in the darkest parts

but if i catch you in the gentlest of lights,

i catch a sight that ive watched in the dead of night

where the lack of light

or was it the lack of sleep

brought forward the massacre of the innocence for the encore of the most beautiful things

it is a wonderful way to pass all time

loud visions, quiet transitions

Thursday, February 4th, 2016

i swore i loved her once

when the lights of the canyon brought forth redemption from the aching of the glass shattered from the perfume you left on my duskwood chair

darling, you were quite the disaster

you tapped the floor in your lilac pirouettes and you kissed me softly and spoke in those bitter rhymes of strangers in past times

you spoke of Picasso as the paint of your own troubles ran dry and you took some of my own

but you asked ever so nicely

and the touch of your lullaby was the harmony in which i catered to the heart strings of the dead

it left musk on my fingers and lavender on the side of my tinted cheek

whether it was tinted in anger or in romance is the question

whether the sidewalk now is a savior of the suicidal or a mockery of the weak

i have felt the beckoning of the stars from it’s brothers on the gravel roads

and if i stood long enough to make love to the headlights of a passing stranger

i become a surrogate to a passion once felt long ago